Alternating fear of commitment and abandonment

In a relationship (that I didn't call as such :-)) we had a very intense alternating fear of commitment and fear of abandonment.

One moment she had fear of abandonment and I had fear of commitment, and the other moment it was the other way around. We were like two magnets that were continuously pushing and pulling each other.

It was also like an addiction. When she came too close, then I got scared and wanted to run away. But when she took a distance, I felt an addiction and I wanted to be with her.

It was one big drama and although I knew that this relationship was not good for me, the feelings and the addiction to them were too strong.

What freed me eventually, was something I read on the internet. It was about when you are intimate with someone, you start to resonate in the same vibration. So it is better to not be intimate with someone you do not want to be like.

Then I asked myself "do I want to be like this person?" and the answer was a clear "no". By looking at it like this, I started to take a distance. Luckily she did the same. That's how I 'escaped' this drama.