Effects of relating with a borderliner
I have had a very bad relationship of about 10 years. I was together with a man that had a borderline personality. He had manic depressed moods. Anybody who knows a little bit about this will probably understand that it was exhausting for me. He sucked the life out of me, both psychic and emotional.
After this experience I didn't dare to go into a relationship for a long time. Now, since one and a half years, I am relating with a man again, but the fear that it will again pull me down is still very present in me.
Often I just don't belief that my boyfriend loves me. My ex also loved me, but his illness left its traces in me. So love has become something I cannot trust. This idea keeps ruling me. Together with a therapist, I explained my boyfriend what it means to have a relationship with someone who has borderline. He understands it better now, but the fear keeps coming back.
Mainly doubt about the relationship, wanting to break up or make a fight to test if he will stay. Those are my ways to deal with it, but of course they don't work. It has to be perfect, he has to meet up to many expectations. Otherwise I fear it will be at my expense.
I made an appointment with a therapist again, because it keeps coming back. And I keep having fear and the need to send him away or break up with him.
Find a counsellor:
Click the name of a town to see which counsellors / therapists are available.
- Ashburton
- Auckland
- Blenheim
- Cambridge
- Christchurch
- Dunedin
- Ellerslie
- Epsom
- Gisborne
- Hamilton
- Hastings
- Hibiscus Coast
- Invercargill
- Kapiti Coast
- Lower Hutt
- Masterton
- Motueka
- Mount Maunganui
- Napier
- Nelson
- New Plymouth
- North Shore
- Orewa
- Palmerston North
- Papamoa
- Paraparaumu
- Porirua
- Queenstown
- Richmond
- Rotorua
- Tauranga
- Upper Hutt
- Wanaka
- Wellington
- West Auckland
- Whangaparaoa
- Wanganui
- Whangarei
Is your town not in the list above? Search on town >>
- ✓ 50+ Relationship Counsellors
- ✓ In New Zealand, also online
- ✓ Marriage & Couples therapy
Do you prefer online counselling?
Most couples counsellors on this website offer online relationship counselling so that you can access the help you need, wherever you are.
Implement a 'Pause and Reflect' Technique
Communication problems:
Explore non verbal communication
Good relationship:
Enter your relationship with a fresh clear perspective
I highly recommend Phil as a relationship counselor
Sarah and Matt:
We feel so much more clarity in our communication
Vasa | Queenstown:
Olivia was gentle, warm, supportive, and engaging
Couples Coaching Mangawhai
Mar 23 2024:
Relationship & Couples Counselling Christchurch
Mar 18 2024:
Relationship Counselling Tauranga
| Disclaimer | Privacy | Login |