Fear of commitment, fear of abandonment and love addiction

In one relationship there were very strong waves of alternating fear of commitment, fear of abandonment and love addiction.

One moment she had fear of abandonment and I had fear of commitment, the other moment the other way around. We were like magnets that were continuously pushing and pulling each other.

It was also like a love addiction. When she came too close, I got tense and wanted to escape (fear of commitment). But when she took some distance, then I felt the addiction and I wanted to be with her (fear of abandonment).

It was one big relationship drama. Although I knew that this relationship was not good for me, the feelings and the addiction and the fear were very strong.

What freed me in the end was that I read something on the internet that described how you take more and more the energy of the person you are intimate with. So it's better not to be intimate with people you do not want to be like.

So I asked myself the question "would I like to be more like this person?" And the answer was clearly "No". So by looking at it like this, I took distance. Fortunately she also took a distance. That's how I 'escaped' this drama.