Fear of commitment in living together

I can feel with you.
I also had an enormous fear of commitment. Even the word 'relationship' gave me already the creeps.

I can give you some tips that supported me.

1) be honest and open about it when you feel the fear. Talk about it with your girlfriend. And ask her if she can ask you in such moments what it is that you need.

2) Realize that you never have to commit to anything permanently. You are always free to make another choice later. Now you chose for your girlfriend because that is what you want now. But you do not know what the future holds.

3) Take plenty of space in your relationship. I like it for example to sleep alone, in my own space, my own room. I told my girlfriend about that from the beginning.

Sometimes it might be hard for her, but this is how it is, this is the best I can do for now.

4) you do not have to fulfill all your girlfriends longings.

5) take it step by step. In the start of our relationship it was always my plan to live in two houses. Until circumstances forced me to stay at her place for a month and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

But still I wanted to sleep in separate rooms. Until we started to travel and it turned out that we could sleep in one room, but preferably in two beds.

And now we are even able to sleep in one bed, with a 'buffer-zone'-pillow between us. And earplugs in, so that I still have the feeling I am in my own space. I am able to this temporary when we are for example on holiday.

But when we are back home, I like to sleep in my own room again. Often this is for me the most comfortable.

But by taking small steps I was able to stretch my free space.

6) check out the other tips on this website. There are also tips for your girlfriend. You can make her your ally, so that you can work on it together.

Tips >>