Therapycouples.net
Network of relationship
counsellors in NZ
Therapycouples

I cheated, should I confess?

I have been living together for some years now. My boyfriend is very happy with me and our relationship. I love him very much and see our future together. I think he's fantastic. He is also always there for me.

But we only have sex once a week. In the beginning this was much more. For him this is completely fine, but I long for more.

After talking with him about this, I was read to accept our sexlife the way it was. But the thought of being with another man became more and more interesting. And it became more and more difficult to reject the attention I got from other men.

I am against cheating, but still it has happened. I cheated and had sex with somebody else. The flirting, the tension and the foreplay felt very nice. But the sex itself felt wrong.

Now I am very angry with myself that I did this. How could I have cheated on him...

No I wonder if I should tell him. He told me once that he doesn't want to know when I would cheat. He would be devastated. But I also deserve the consequence for my action.

I hope there are people that recognize themselves in my story. That can tell me how they dealt with it....


Anonymous

2
3
Reply
Show replies Hide replies
Reply:

Well... you put yourself in a difficult situation.

It is for sure a moment to feel and think about weather you really would like to stay in this relationship and if so, how you would like it to continue.

Apparently you have more need for sex then your partner does. There are many ways to deal with this. You do not need to cheat for it.

Some suggestions:

> See if you can enjoy your longing for sex, without acting on it. The feeling of longing alone can already be fantastic, without doing anything with it.

> See if you can enjoy masturbation more often. You can satisfy your sexual needs also by yourself.

> Look at the possibilities for an open relationship. Within an open relationship, it is very important to be honest.

Best of luck.


E.
Reply:

I think that's a very difficult question; tell him or not tell him. Personally I think that telling him will often damage too much.

I think I would rather not know, but that the problem is still solved. You know what I mean?

So if my partner would have cheated because we don't have enough sex, than I don't want to know that he's cheating, but I would like that he tries to talk with me about that he wants more sex.

Well, anyway, that's what I think about it.
You know already if you're going to tell him or not?


From me
Reply:

You just followed your feeling, it is much fun.. the attention.. that's just so.. keep it for yourself and let it be a life lesson.


Lien

Your reply:




Do you also want to share your story?

+ share your story




© Therapycouples.net - Relationship therapy & Couples and Marriage Counselling in NZ
| Disclaimer | Reviews | Login | Privacy |