I feel fear when a relationship goes well

Hello
I have the same but am on the other side.
My boyfriend has your age, has never had a serious relationship and lives alone since a long time. We are together for two years now, the first months were fantastic, we were in love and everything went well.

But that changed. He wanted to be more on his own. He also blocked his feelings and when I wanted to talk about it we got into a fight, which he also couldn't handle.

We were going to live together, but he told me it scares him and expressed that he'd rather be alone. He would like to live together with me, but he is not able to he says. He gets physical issues (headache, belly ache, stress)

What to do with this? I think he has fear of commitment. How would you like your girlfriend to respond to your insecurity?

I long for security.

It is, just like for you, a good step to realize you're scared and to see that the cause has a deeper meaning.

I hope you find a way.

Greets

Dear L,

In response to your story:
What could be a support is when you give your friend (even more) space. When you try to hold or pull him it will probably have the opposite effect.

I can imagine you long for security, but that probably contributes to his feeling scared.

What supported me (somebody with fear of commitment) was that my girlfriend, or actually we both, took it step by step.

At first it was always the plan (my plan) to keep two houses. Until circumstances forced me to live with her for a month (thanks to the internet company who failed to supply me with an internet connection). As it turned out it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Shortly after, I moved in.

What helps me is that my girlfriend doesn't talk about the future too much, but also doesn't avoid the subject, but talks about it step by step, so that I can get used to the idea and it doesn't feel so frightening anymore.