My current boyfriend was cheated upon by his first lover
My current boyfriend was cheated upon by his first lover. He was 19 when he found out. Now he is 37. I see in him and in our relation that this experience still effects him. It's not that he is jealous or anything. He gets angry very fast when it comes to lying or cheating.
He himself is very loyal and honest. That seems like a good thing. And it is. But sometimes I doubt weather the loyalty he has to his friends and family is maybe unusually big, for his own good. And that loyalty is sometimes standing between us.
Besides that, I notice that he is afraid that our relationship might end. While I don't understand why, because we're doing very well.
I really think it is because of this experience in the past. I wonder if people recognize this.
My girlfriend is also very loyal to her family and friends. In general I think that is a good quality. I used to have the idea that she would do a lot, too much, for others, but by now she is better at feeling what is important to her and make a choice considering that too.
She is still sometimes afraid that our relationship will end and that I will leave her for another woman, while there is not reason for that in my eyes, because we have a good time together. She can also get jealous.
But also this became 'softer' since she became more aware on this and learned to feel who she is, what she wants, and doesn't fall in the trap of following old drama's/ thoughts.
Find a counsellor:
Click the name of a town to see which counsellors / therapists are available.
- Ashburton
- Auckland
- Blenheim
- Cambridge
- Christchurch
- Dunedin
- Ellerslie
- Epsom
- Gisborne
- Hamilton
- Hastings
- Hibiscus Coast
- Invercargill
- Kapiti Coast
- Lower Hutt
- Masterton
- Motueka
- Mount Maunganui
- Napier
- Nelson
- New Plymouth
- North Shore
- Orewa
- Palmerston North
- Papamoa
- Paraparaumu
- Porirua
- Queenstown
- Richmond
- Rotorua
- Tauranga
- Upper Hutt
- Wanaka
- Wellington
- West Auckland
- Whangaparaoa
- Wanganui
- Whangarei
Is your town not in the list above? Search on town >>
- ✓ 50+ Relationship Counsellors
- ✓ In New Zealand, also online
- ✓ Marriage & Couples therapy
Do you prefer online counselling?
Most couples counsellors on this website offer online relationship counselling so that you can access the help you need, wherever you are.
Implement a 'Pause and Reflect' Technique
Communication problems:
Explore non verbal communication
Good relationship:
Enter your relationship with a fresh clear perspective
I highly recommend Phil as a relationship counselor
Sarah and Matt:
We feel so much more clarity in our communication
Vasa | Queenstown:
Olivia was gentle, warm, supportive, and engaging
Relationship Counselling Dunedin
Apr 11 2024:
(Relationship) Therapy Wellington - Porirua
Apr 11 2024:
Relationship & Couples counselling Hamilton NZ
| Disclaimer | Privacy | Login |