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No contact anymore, find it hard

Good evening!
Last Monday my boyfriend broke up with me. I am having a hard time dealing with this, came as a surprise to me.

I did notice that he made less time for me and didn't say sweet things anymore like I miss you or happy to see you as I did to him. He told me that he didn't have any feelings for me anymore since 4 months already, but stayed with me because he saw that I stilled cared for him.

Since then we didn't speak anymore and I find that hard, feel like a part of my life is missing.

I feel so scared that I will never talk to him again or see him again and that it's for him all fine and that he will not miss me the way I miss him, would he really have stayed with me all these months if he didn't feel anything for me?

Does anybody have experience with this and can share with me what could ease my pain a little and could take away the fear that I will never see or speak to him again?


Anonymous
> 2 years ago

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I'm sorry to read that you have such a hard time with it.

It makes sense that it still feels intense for you, because it is just a week ago and you didn't see it coming.

Your ex-boyfriend has had the time already for 4 months -without you knowing it - to slowly say goodbye to you and the relationship with you.

So it is very well possible that for him it is fine like this while for you it still feels very different.

Dealing with the pain takes time. How much time is different for everybody.

I also experienced this once that my partner broke up with me and it came as a shock to me, but my partner had been processing the change already during the last part of the relationship and had made peace with it already.

For me it was always good to digest the love sick by not having contact anymore. So I think that this would also be very good for you.

If you would keep talking with each other, you will be every time touched. Now you can really take a distance, however painful that might be.

I also experienced it from the other side, that I stayed in a relationship because I didn't want to hurt my partner.

Something like that often has a processing time. The feeling you have for somebody can slowly grow less and disappear.

And that's also what will happen for you. Although you might not be able to imagine that right now, you will also notice that your feelings will grow less, when you take care that you don't have contact anymore.

And that doesn't mean just reallife contact, but also don't check his facebook page to see what he's up to.

So distract your attention from him to yourself. Focus on yourself.

Try to find a balance to feel the pain on one side, to mourn, and on the other side also to do enjoyable things.

I wish you a lot of warmth.


E.
> 2 years ago
Reply:

Thank you for your reply, this is definitely a support and I will do enjoyable things and try to forget him, I'm sorry to hear that you went through the same situation. I also wish you warmth and happiness!


Anonymous
> 2 years ago

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