Ten years unhappy, but I can't leave him
I am already unhappy for ten years, but I don't know if I want to make the decision...
My husband and I.... a fantastic couple, hand in glove... all metaphores used for a happy couple would be applied to us. Although I have to say 'would', because this is by now ten years ago.
I cannot even point my finger on what went wrong.. I didn't do anything wrong, he didn't do anything wrong... still we live together alone. At moments I even hate him! But still I cannot leave him...
I don't know what stops me... the children went their own ways, I can take care of myself, and I would probably still see his family when we would break up....
Do I still like to see him? Probably not! So what's stopping me? ...
I don't find peace anymore, it's always in my head.
1It is a pity that you feel unhappy and cannot put your finger on what went wrong. Apparently there is something you miss in your relationship. Are there unfulfilled needs or maybe also wishes that were never spoken out?
When I read you story it sounds to me like the connection was broken. Maybe you live together but not connected anymore? Everybody does his or her own thing and that's it?
That you don't want to go is maybe because you don't know what the cause is. You are in a kind of comfort zone, you know what you have even though it is something that doesn't really make you happy. Change is frightening and often triggers resistance. It also asks for action and courage.
The question is... what do you want? What is the need you have that is not fulfilled right now? What do you need?
Find a counsellor:
Click the name of a town to see which counsellors / therapists are available.
- Ashburton
- Auckland
- Blenheim
- Cambridge
- Christchurch
- Dunedin
- Ellerslie
- Epsom
- Gisborne
- Hamilton
- Hastings
- Hibiscus Coast
- Invercargill
- Kapiti Coast
- Lower Hutt
- Masterton
- Motueka
- Mount Maunganui
- Napier
- Nelson
- New Plymouth
- North Shore
- Orewa
- Palmerston North
- Papamoa
- Paraparaumu
- Porirua
- Queenstown
- Richmond
- Rotorua
- Tauranga
- Upper Hutt
- Wanaka
- Wellington
- West Auckland
- Whangaparaoa
- Wanganui
- Whangarei
Is your town not in the list above? Search on town >>
- ✓ 50+ Relationship Counsellors
- ✓ In New Zealand, also online
- ✓ Marriage & Couples therapy
Do you prefer online counselling?
Most couples counsellors on this website offer online relationship counselling so that you can access the help you need, wherever you are.
Implement a 'Pause and Reflect' Technique
Communication problems:
Explore non verbal communication
Good relationship:
Enter your relationship with a fresh clear perspective
I highly recommend Phil as a relationship counselor
Sarah and Matt:
We feel so much more clarity in our communication
Vasa | Queenstown:
Olivia was gentle, warm, supportive, and engaging
Relationship & Couples counselling Hamilton NZ
Apr 15 2024:
Relationship Counselling Dunedin
Apr 11 2024:
(Relationship) Therapy Wellington - Porirua
| Disclaimer | Privacy | Login |