We were fighting more and more
My husband and I got more and more often in conflict. We didn't really notice it ourselves, but our kids were bothered by it and told us to stop screaming. I was not proud of that it happened to us like that and I got it that something had to be done about it.
We didn't manage ourselves. For a little while it was fine and then we fell back again in the same pattern. Then my husband suggested to go to relationship therapy. I was scared, but agreed on it.
During the therapy we got to know that our situation is not unique and many couples are dealing with the same problem. That made I could breath again and gave me hope. The good intentions are there, but we don't understand each other anymore.
In therapy we learned that we were not really listening to each other. We heard what the other was saying, but not what the other meant. That's why words were often misinterpreted and we reacted on each other.
I often felt misunderstood and my husband often felt attacked. I learned that expressing my feelings is something else then react emotionally (what I did) and my husband learned that he doesn't have to solve my problems and that often it is already enough to really listen and put an arm around me.
Now the peace is back in our family. And when something goes wrong again, we know how to get back. I wish that for everybody!
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