Investigate the secondary gain

Investigate the secondary gain

>Investigate the secondary gain of having fear of commitment. Even when you want to let go of your fears, it can be that you do not succeed, because (unconsciously) you benefit from having the fear. /> />- It can be, for example, that because of your fear, you do not have to do certain things that you actually do not want to do. />- Or because of your fear you receive extra attention from your parents, lovers or therapists. And that you actually like that. /> />As soon as you know what the positive effects of your fears are (the secondary gain), you can start to look for an alternative way to get the same advantage, without having to hold on to your fears. /> />The next questions can help you discover the advantage of your fear: /> />- What (nice things) can I do because of the fear, of commitment, what I otherwise could not do? />- What (nice things) do I receive because of the fear, that I would otherwise not receive? />- What could go wrong when I do not have the fear of commitment anymore?>

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Forum Fear of commitment or abandonment - Tips