Relationship fights - peer support forum
Do you suffer from relationship fights and relationship conflicts?
For a lot of people it's helpful to write down and share their story. This open forum is a great place for:
- Getting things off your chest.
- Reading the stories of peers.
- Connecting with peers and responding to stories.
Read the stories of other people with relationship fights and relationship conflicts and share your story.
Overview of stories
My husband and I were fighting about anything. You cannot think of anything we couldn't get annoyed about and would escalate. Until we were so desperate that we looked for a relationship therapist.
The therapist soon put the finger on the soar spot. There was a lot of old pain in both of us that we were acting out on each other.
Because we got to know this and were able to support each other in this, we can go along with each other again in a normal and nice way.
My husband and I got more and more often in conflict. We didn't really notice it ourselves, but our kids were bothered by it and told us to stop screaming. I was not proud of that it happened to us like that and I got it that something had to be done about it.
We didn't manage ourselves. For a little while it was fine and then we fell back again in the same pattern. Then my husband suggested to go to relationship therapy. I was scared, but agreed on it.
During the therapy we got to know that our situation is not unique and many couples are dealing with the same problem. That made I could breath again and gave me hope. The good intentions are there, but we don't understand each other anymore.
In therapy we learned that we were not really listening to each other. We heard what the other was saying, but not what the other meant. That's why words were often misinterpreted and we reacted on each other.
I often felt misunderstood and my husband often felt attacked. I learned that expressing my feelings is something else then react emotionally (what I did) and my husband learned that he doesn't have to solve my problems and that often it is already enough to really listen and put an arm around me.
Now the peace is back in our family. And when something goes wrong again, we know how to get back. I wish that for everybody!
We have more and more often fights and discussions. Our relationship is under pressure. Our children suffer from it. We feel very bad about this.
We talked about divorce several times, but we also don't really want that.
We will go and look now if relationship therapy can be of help.
We kept on having fights and hurting each other. We took more and more distance to not feel the pain anymore, because we starting fighting over every small thing and it became worse and worse.
I'm very happy that we found a relationship therapist. She immediately put an end to our blaming each other. With a lot of patience, she unscrambled our relationship and we both got insight in our part of the patterns.
Now we are able to look with mildness and love to each other again. It's worth it!
We fight quite a lot. Can be about small things and about big things.
I don't know if I want to continue like this. This cannot be what a relationship is for, right?
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